


Lost Souls

by SincerelyMLG



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Barnes Remembers, F/M, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24210337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincerelyMLG/pseuds/SincerelyMLG
Summary: It was strange to everyone that you had reached this age and still hadn’t found your soulmate. Everyone aged until they were 18 and stayed at that age until they met their soulmate. Most people had found their soulmate within a couple of years, known instantly, and stayed together, but not you.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**1937.**

_Bucky looked down at his paper_. The letters stamped across the page meaning he’d ship out to Wisconsin soon. A sigh of defeat from behind him snapped him back to reality. Steve emerged from behind the curtain with his head down in defeat.

“4F. They’re not gonna take me, Buck.”

“You should consider yourself lucky then. I ship out next week. Wisconsin.”

Steve shook his head, still looking down. With a sigh Bucky clapped his friend on the shoulder and led them out of the building, hoping his body wasn’t shaking from the nerves that had come from the red letters. _Steve will be here. Be safe. Maybe find his soulmate._

It had been two years and counting since Bucky had stopped aging. With the new orders, he hoped there wasn’t a girl out there waiting to meet him. He wanted to promise to her and the man next to him that he would come back, but there were so many uncertainties with war.

Years past and he still hadn’t aged. Other soldiers that had sweethearts at home aged more and more every day, the war taking its toll on them, but not him.

* * *

**Present Day.**

You stared at the cake in front of you. You looked around at your friends as they smiled down at you waiting for you to make a wish. You already knew what you were going to wish for. You had done so every day since you were eighteen and still not aged. Your friends and their soulmates looked down at you in anticipation. You blew out your candles and smiled to yourself. Another year and you were still alone.

The cheers that erupted from around you broke you from your thoughts. You made eye contact with your best friend and she smiled sadly at you, knowing your thoughts.

“He’s out there you know.”

You turned around after closing the door as the last people left your apartment. “I know, but you would think I would have found him by now.” You looked at your feet already knowing what she was going to say.

“It just takes a little bit to find them.”

“Not years though,” you mumbled to yourself.

It was strange to everyone that you had reached this age and still hadn’t found your soulmate. Everyone aged until they were 18 and stayed that age until they met their soulmate. Most people had found their soulmate within a couple years, known instantly, and stayed together, but not you.

You sighed and looked at your friend. A watery smile formed on your lips and she walked towards you. Pulling you in for a hug she kissed your cheek. “Any day now. I promise.”

You laughed at her saying. She had been saying that every day for the last couple of years. Sniffling you pulled away and walked her to the door. “Thank you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Tell those kids of yours that their aunt loves them.”

Your friend smiled at you and walked down the hallway, heading home to her soulmate.

* * *

A couple of weeks passed and you had forgotten all about your birthday. You walked to your favorite cafe to grab some lunch when you felt someone’s eyes on you. Turning you saw none other than Captain America and the Winter Soldier sitting at a laughably small table. You met the soldier’s steel blue eyes and gave him a small smile. He looked down at his coffee cup quickly and nodded along to something the captain had said. You turned and continued to walk into the cafe.

* * *

“Steve I think that was her.”

Steve stopped his story to look at his friend. He watched your retreating back and looked back at his friend. “What makes you think that?”

Bucky sighed in frustration, “I just know do.”

Steve chuckled to himself, knowing the feeling. He had felt the same way when he met Sharon. “Well, what are you waiting for Buck, go get your girl.”

Bucky nodded and stood up to approach you. He had been so sure that he was going to be stuck at eighteen for the rest of his life. He can’t remember when he had started aging again, but when Steve had reminded him that he could have one and she was out there right now he had become obsessed with finding her.

His confidence waned as he reached for the door. He looked through the glass at your back as you ordered. Slowly he opened the door and walked even more slowly towards you. His complete focus on reaching you. You smiled at the barista and took a seat along the wall, pulling out a book while you waited for your order to be called. Bucky approached you but stopped a couple steps away. Looking down at you he felt all the confidence that was left disappear. How did you introduce yourself to the woman you thought was your soulmate? With a deep breath, he cleared his throat so as not to scare you. You marked your place in your book with a finger and looked up.

Bucky caught his breath when your eyes connected with his. All his usual lines fled from his brain as he stared down at you.

“H-hey, doll,” he mumbled still catching his breath.

You smiled up at the bumbling man. You were about to respond when your name was called from behind the counter. “Y/N! Order for Y/N!”

Standing up you tucked your hair behind your ear and gathered your things. “That’s me.” You blushed realizing that he had not stopped staring at you.

You took a step forward to get your order and leave, but a hand reached out to you, grabbing your arm. “Doll, I didn’t catch your name.”

You tucked your hair behind your ear again as you turned to face him. “Y/N.”

Y/N. Bucky locked that name away in the deepest parts of his memory and it felt right in his soul.

You smiled at the soldier one last time and, with a small cough, turned and retrieved your coffee, and subtly fled the cafe.

Bucky stood there for a moment not realizing you had left. After shaking himself out of his dream he walked out the doors back towards Steve.

“How did it go,” he asked. He had seen the woman Bucky thought was his other half vacate the premise as quickly as she could and wondered what he had missed. A small grin formed on his face as he looked at his dumbstruck friend.

“I got her name. Then she ran out. Steve, how could I fuck this up? Aren’t you and your soulmate supposed to fall instantly in love with each other? I know that was her! Damn it!”

The super soldier slammed his fists on the table, muttering more profanities under his breath. _How could he fuck this up?_

* * *

 _How on earth could I fuck this up?_ You walked quickly towards your best friend’s apartment. You needed to talk someone about this as soon as you possibly could, while all the details were fresh in your mind.

You pounded on the door and you heard little feet approach the door. You smiled at the little face that peeked around the doorframe. With a squeal, she threw the door open and ran to hug your knees. “Aunty Y/N! Aunty Y/N!”

“Hey, kiddo.” You laughed as you bent down to pick her up. “Is Mom home?”

The little girl nodded and you walked into the apartment still holding her on your hip. Soon enough, her mother came sprinting around the corner obviously worried about her daughter answering the door.

You laughed at your friend’s appearance. “You should get her a leash. Or a bell.”

She laughed in response, “Perhaps I should.”

You set the girl back down in front of the coloring pages that were spread out on the coffee table, a frown forming in the corners of your mouth.

“What’s going on?”

With a sigh, you relayed what had happened at the cafe. As the story went on your friend’s eyes got wider and you were afraid they’d fall out her head.

“James Barnes. The Winter Soldier. Is your soulmate?”

You sighed again. “Yes? I think so. I don’t know. How did you know?”

You had heard her story dozens of times, but this time you actually paid attention to every detail. From their first sighting of each other to their first date. “It just felt right I guess? Like gravity was no longer the only major force that kept me on the ground. I couldn’t breathe and then he smiled and suddenly it felt like my whole life had been leading up to this moment.”

You nodded. “Well shit.”

The toddler whipped her hair around and looked at you with big brown eyes. “Aunty said a bad word!”


	2. Chapter 2

**1943.**

The prisoners woke with a start. The explosions and screams made it difficult to sleep anyways, but Bucky continued to stare at the ceiling. He heard his comrades’ boots hit the ground as they made their escapes, knowing this would be the end for him. He sighed in exhaustion and acceptance. He didn’t know what the scientists had done to him, but whatever they had started wouldn’t be completed.

Bucky heard his name. Thinking it was a dream he opened his eyes again and saw Steve standing over him. He laughed to himself, this must be what the afterlife was.

The man above him shook his shoulders and the shape of his mouth seemed to form his name again. His face looked like Steve’s, but when he looked at him, Bucky didn’t recognize him. The man grits his teeth and helped Bucky stand.

“I thought you were dead.”

“I thought you were smaller. What happened to you?”

The man laughed. “I joined the army.”

Reality came crashing down on Bucky again. The building shook as the foundation became compromised. He followed Steve toward what he was assuming was the exit, safety.

Dum Dum made it out when they were met with a face that would haunt Bucky’s nightmares. Zola. The man that had poked and prodded him with needles, forced him to take pills and potions of unknown substances, working his mind and body into exhaustion day in and day out.

The building shook again and the scientist followed his master like a stray dog out of the building. Bucky and Steve behind them to set on the 30-mile walk back to base camp.

**Present Day**

Bucky woke with a start, but this time there was no Steve above him. He was safe, in his own bed, more than seventy years after his friend had rescued him from the HYDRA base. It wouldn’t be the last one they saw together, and it wouldn’t be the last time he would be a lab rat for the organization.

Bucky took deep breaths, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat. Zola was gone, HYDRA couldn’t get to him anymore, Steve was next door, still a little punk, but alive. The only thing missing was you.

Since that day in the cafe almost a week ago Bucky hadn’t been able to get your eyes out of his mind. He’d wake up from nightmares like he had tonight and look to the other side of the bed, looking for you, expecting you to be there. He’d been back to that cafe every day hoping to see you again. One look, two words, and your name were all it had taken to send him into a tailspin.

Bucky swung his legs out of bed, knowing sleep wasn’t going to be happening for the rest of the night.

Your feet touched the floor and you ran your fingers through your hair. This was the third time this week you had woken up in the middle of the night. You occasionally had bouts of insomnia, but this was something entirely new.

Grabbing some cotton shorts off the ground you made your way into the kitchen to start the coffee machine. While that heated up you hopped in the shower. You closed your eyes under the stream of water and sighed in content. You hadn’t realized that your muscles had been tensed until the hot water seemed to release all of their tension.

Back in the kitchen, you stared down at the book you had opened but were unable to read. Every time you looked down at the pages you saw him. The former Winter Soldier had been haunting your thoughts since he stuttered out a pet name and you sprinted out of the cafe. His striking blue eyes had burned their image into the front of your mind, making him unforgettable. You hadn’t returned to that cafe for fear of running into the soldier again.

It didn’t make much sense. You had been waiting for this moment for as long as you could remember. You couldn’t wait to grow old with that one person you were meant to be with. Now that you’d found him however you couldn’t face him. Perhaps that’s why I can’t sleep.

Sighing, you pushed the book away and gulped at your cool coffee. With a grimace, you put the mug in the sink, still half full. It was going to be a long night.

Your feet seemed to be on autopilot. That must happen when you haven’t had a proper night’s sleep in three days. You pulled your bag up higher on your shoulder as you walked towards the front steps of the building. Standing in line you pulled out your wallet, already knowing what you were going to order.

As you were finishing your order a hand reached forward. A spark shot up your arm and a voice added to your order and handed the barista a card. You looked up and your eyes were met with the very same blue ones that had been haunting you for a week. Smiling, he broke eye contact to look down at his feet. He cleared his throat about to say something.

“Excuse me, I would really appreciate if you two moved to the side or something. I have others behind you.” The barista smiled at you sheepishly, but it was enough to break the spell. You and Bucky chuckled nervously at each other and stepped away from the counter. He gestured to a small table in the back corner of the cafe, the same one you had been at last week.

Taking a seat across from each other, you couldn’t stop smiling. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Bucky chuckled a low sweet sound that you tried to memorize. “Well, doll, I would be lying if I said I haven’t been here every day trying to catch you again.”

You felt the tips of your ears start to burn in embarrassment and your hands that were folded in your lap started to sweat a little. You looked up at the man again, noticing the circles under his eyes that hadn’t been there before. You frowned and reached one hand forward, placing it on the side of his face trying to make the exhaustion leave his eyes.

The soldier froze for a second before melting into your hand a little. That spark of electricity returned and caused goosebumps to pop up all along your arm. Blinking you realized what you had just done and cleared your throat while removing your hand, mumbling an apology.

To your surprise, Bucky smiled, “Don’t be, doll. My friend tells me that things like that happen. It comes with the territory.”

You snorted, “It seems we have been getting the same advice. Although my best friend isn’t Captain America so you might be in better hands.”

“My best friend isn’t Captain America either. He’s still just a punk from Brooklyn, but the fights have more stakes now,” he replied with another chuckle.

You giggled at his response. He glanced over his shoulder and stood up. Not wanting this to end your hand shot out holding his. He seemed to be able to read your mind and settled your worries with a smile, “They called our order. I’ll be right back”

You had completely forgotten you had ordered food. You returned his smile and let go of his hand as he reached forward and placed a kiss on the top of your head. He pulled back, his eyes wide and a blush making its way up to his neck. Turning quickly he walked toward the counter.

You watched him walk and get your food, your blush matching his. You didn’t know why you were reacting this way. It’s not like you hadn’t been kissed before. Before you realized you weren’t aging you had tried to make it work with other men. You had tried so hard to make it work, but ultimately it didn’t feel whole and they moved on. You’d known the man that was walking towards you for more than an hour and you already felt more whole than you had in any of your past relationships.

Bucky settled down in front of you again and handed you the much-needed coffee. “Thank you.”

Bucky stared at you. “For what darlin’?”

“For buying me coffee. You didn’t have to, especially not after I ran out on you last week.”

He chuckled into his coffee cup, “Doll if it meant seeing you again, you could run out on me every single day.”

Your blush returned and you looked down at your coffee. “Still, thank you.”

You cleared your throat in an attempt to hide your embarrassment. “You haven’t formally introduced yourself to me. I mean, I know who you are based on what I’ve read in the papers, but I would still like to know you.”

“I guess you’re right.” He set his coffee cup on the table and leaned forward. “My name is James Barnes. Please call me Bucky.”

You reached your hand out to shake his, “Y/N. Nice to finally meet you Bucky.” You smiled when he reached forward to play along, shaking your hand. They fell to the table, but neither of you withdrew from the contact, and Bucky started rubbing small circles into the back of your hand. Somehow your smile managed to grow.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but you look exhausted,” you blurted after a second. Your eyes widened at the outburst and your blush returned in full force.

Bucky laughed, “I bet I look like hell. I haven’t been getting much sleep this last week actually.”

“That’s funny.”

“What’s funny about it doll?”

You choked on your coffee. “I haven’t been getting much sleep either. But I’m sure yours has to do with the whole ‘saving the world’ job of yours.”

Bucky studied your face, finally noticing the circles under your eyes as well. “No, the world has been taking care of itself pretty well this week. I’ve just been waking up at night.” _It’s too early to tell her I have nightmares right? I mean we are soulmates so I’m sure she’ll understand but I don-_

“That’s really weird. I’ve been having the same problems.” You watched him carefully, not wanting to scare him off.

“Huh,” was the only response you got.

You both jumped when your phone vibrated on the table. You had four texts and one missed call. Mumbling a sorry you withdrew your hand from his. Looking at the time you cursed under your breath. “I am so sorry Bucky, I have to go. I promised to watch my niece tonight and I’m late.”

You gathered your things and stood up, Bucky matching your movements. “Can I walk you anywhere?”

You looked up from the apology text you were typing out. “Ye-yeah. I would like that.” He grinned from ear to ear and offered his arm to you. Smiling you took it and walked a couple of blocks to your friend’s home.

The walk didn’t last as long as you had hoped and soon you were in front of her door. “This is me,” you sighed.

He looked down at you and at the door you were standing in front of, “So it is.” A moment passed in silence and you tried to memorize his face. “Listen, Y/N, I was wondering if we could do this again sometime.”

You bit your lip and glanced down at your feet. “Yeah, I would like that. Love that actually.”

You made eye contact again and it seemed all the air in the room had been sucked out of the hallway. “It’s a date,” Bucky whispered.

You glanced down at his lips and back into the haunting blue eyes. “It’s a date.”

Both of you moved closer to each, breaths away when the door opened and a little girl giggled at the sight in front of her.

With a sigh, Bucky bit his lip and looked down at their intruder. Shaking your head you bent down and picked the girl up.

“You were going to kiss him weren’t you?” she whispered in your ear, but your pretty sure half of New York could hear her.

“Okay! Let’s get you inside and apologize to Mom shall we?” You blushed immediately when your eyes met Bucky’s.

He chuckled once more, waved at the girl in your arms, who hid her face in your shoulder at him and he turned to walk down the hallway. You also turned when you heard your name behind you. “Same time tomorrow?”

You nodded. Bucky smiled and leaned in to kiss your cheek. “I’ll see you then doll.”

He walked down the hall and out of the building, grinning the entire way back to the compound.


End file.
